I recently got offered a new job and everything is about to change. I will be moving in with strangers. I will be leaving home after being here for two years. I am going to be looking after myself for once and it's a whole new world to me. I go from excited, to nervous, to scared, to excited again about 50 times a day.
The first time I moved out of home was with my ex and I followed him around for 4 years before we broke up and I returned home skint, jobless and at a complete loss. It literally felt like my life was over and I had no idea where to go or what to do with myself. It's taken a good couple of years to pull myself together and feel confident enough to fly the nest once again.
It feels ridiculous to be experiencing this now at an age where I should really have all my shit together but sadly I do not and the only thing I can do is try. If I stay where I am then things will stay the same. I have to ignore all the fear and anxiety over going out in the real world alone. This is a massive step for me. Not only do I have a whole new job to learn, I have a whole new way of life to readjust to. I hope I can do it despite my natural negativity.
I have no other choice but to do this now - just bite the bullet and get on with my life.
I am going solo.
F x
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