In November I registered with eHarmony. I received several emails a day informing me I had new matches and messages from men but I couldn't see these or do anything about them until I subscribed. I knew that, yet I was hesitant to part with my money. I was hesitant to invest in something that has gone so terribly wrong in the past. Dating is just not my thing. Dating I do not get. Dating is what other people do so naturally well whereas I fail at it so incredibly. I can barely flirt and I can be so socially awkward when it comes to meeting people for the first time.
I have umed and ahed many many times as my inbox has filled with alerts from eHarmony. In my mind I'd argue with myself. I kept thinking that if I didn't subscribe I'd never meet anyone but then I'd think there was probably no point wasting my money by setting myself up for disappointment all over again. There were numerous times when I'd get home from work, go on my laptop with my card ready to pay before talking myself out of it when I'd see all the payment options.
After going back and forth like this and discussing it with a few of my friends and even my cousin at one point (who actually went all Mrs Doyle on me by saying "You will you will you will!" in response to my frequently used statement "I will never meet anyone!") I finally made the decision to subscribe.
I deem this as "Round 2". The first time I was using free dating sites and I like to think that because people are paying to use eHarmony it means they are taking dating a bit more seriously and aren't looking for an easy shag. I truly hope that is the case because if I have to go through one more experience of those stupid mind games some guys play where they keep you wondering whether they like you or not I will definitely resign myself to the crazy cat lady life. (I will also scream if someone tells me "I'm only looking for fun" again - those kind of guys I have zero time for now.
So in the words of the legend that is Taylor Swift, "I'm dying to see how this one ends".
Undoubtedly I will update this blog with how Round 2 goes.
Until next time....
F x
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